ijustwanttobehappy

2007-01-01T23:44:00.000+08:00

I.spent.my.first.day.of.2007.being.emo.
What a great start....

2006-11-26T21:41:00.001+08:00

My resolutions for 2007.

-I really hope to get good results for a level.
-I want to work(not as a teacher please)
-I want a make over.For I no longer need to act guai any more.I can be myself.
-I hope to have operation to correct my eye.
-I want to learn how to make Japanese and korean food.(i dont care mom.)

Wee.It still boils down to the fact whether I have the determination to do it or not.God lend me your powers can?

Gosh.I'm gonna be 19 soon.One grows old so fast.I always wanted to grow older when I'm young so that I can wear nice clothings.Now,I'm gonna be 19 soon.*screams*

That's the irony of life isnt it? I guess humans are like this..when you have it you don treasure it.When you are losing it you want it back. I dono wad to say but it happens that I feel this way.I cant help it.By seeing the amount I spent on beauty products and cosmetics,I really cant help but to sigh. Maybe when I'm older and grow whither and left with no teeth, that will be th eonly time when I care nuts about youth.Will I?*doubt*

Sigh.

2006-11-14T13:52:00.000+08:00

Holidays.What is a holiday?Off to work?Off to schools?It seems like an irony right?

2006-11-10T21:26:00.000+08:00

Confession to a friend.
[A gentle reminded.This is not aim to target anyone and no prize for guessing who the person is.I shall bring the answer to my grave instead of telling you.(don worry i'm not going to kill myself or anything.)]

Lately,I've being thinking a lot about our friendship.Maybe to you, I'm just a nobody, but to me, you are something.I've always treated you as my friend and i've always placed you at the most important place in my heart.
However, your actions always never fail to sting me. It seems to me that whenever I needed your advice or help and you never even really bothered to give me. Even if you do, you'll just do it rather superficially. I'm hurt really. My feelings, everything.It seems that you never really care about it.Yet, you expect me to care a lot for you.I dont really mind about caring for you. Really.Like what I said, I've always placed you at the important place in my heart.
When I need you, you are always never by my side. You were always busy with other people. You want their friendship but never mine. When your other friends are not by your side, you came to me and talk to me. Why this way? If you think that is plain jealousy that I'm feeling, no, you are wrong.Is not that.Is about the basic respect that a friend should have.Moreover, is not the first time. Really. I have being taking this for so long ( i really mean very long) and I really cant take it anymore. The hope that you will change this attitude towards me, the flame......Apparently it seems that it has become dimmer than ever.
I really dont know what to say about our friendship.Do i still have the strength to forgive you?Or rather do I still have the energy to tolerate all these?I do not know. I'm tired of this. I want to give up on you. But your pleading look and so on and your friendly smile towards me......Is making my heart a big rojark.I dont know what to do.I'm not perfect and I know I have my flaws.I dont demand much from you, all I asked is the decent respect that a friend ought to have.Is that too much to ask?

2006-10-19T20:25:00.000+08:00

自由
我还站在原地
等着你回头
也许你永远都看不见我
但对你的爱我无怨无悔
这是我的选择
请你尊重它
不要叫我放弃
我已无力再呼吸
唯有对你的爱才让我重生
爱你太深不是一个错
是我的自由
[Chunyu copyrighted.all rights reserved =)]

First time trying out in writing lyrics.If anyone ever reads this do give me some comments ya?

2006-10-17T17:30:00.000+08:00

Haha..I know that my blog has being laid dormant for a long time but alas..Is my private diary isnt it?Well I got a choice to blog or dont and anyway there's nobody visting my blog anyway..haha but who cares?It is even better for me..
Currently I'm attached to korean dramas and I really love these dramas.To me, I do feel that korean dramas are really better than those Taiwan ou xiang ju all those(a big sorry to those who love these shows).
Now, let me evaluate the show that i am currently attached to...That is the on-going drama Princess Hours.
The lead actress, Yoon Eun Hye acts as Chae Hyung(picture from wikipedia) , a bubbly and cheerful high school girl who finds herself unwillingly attached to the Prince and finds herself falling in love with the Prince!
Facts about Yoon Eun Hye:
She was recruited at the age of 15 to join popular girl group Baby V.O.X and left the group on July 2005 (Profile [On-line]--http://www.yooneunhye.org/profile.html ) I'm not too sure about whether the group's around but I remembered that I've read somewhere that the group is currently looking out for new members. (Who Knows?) Anyway, this pretty little girl is the eldest in the family and she stands at a height of 168m! (same height as I am!^^)Wahaha...I really look forward to her new show the Vineyard Man.But I read that she got ill fliming the show.(awww).Anyway Yoon Eun Hye.You go girl!You rock!

I'm sorry if I've accidentally posted something without giving credit to the person who provided the information.I've really forgotten where I've read it but really..I'm sorry about it.Shall blog about the other 3 lead some other time.I'm in no mood to blog.
Anyway here's a song I've written.Hope it doesnt clash with other songs.

--Haze--
You are just like the haze
Stubbon and obstinate
Refuse to go away even when the wind blows
You are driving me crazy
And I'm going nuts
No matter how hard I tried to forget you
It just chokes me harder than before
What can I do to forget you
The pain which you have brought to me
I'm standing alone in the haze
Feeling so scared and lonely
Perhaps the day I forget you
Is the day when the haze go away
Where i feel free and lonely no more.

(chun yu copy-writted.Please don just take this song without giving credit to me)

2006-09-05T21:41:00.000+08:00

In this world,who would ever know
-how empty you feel?
-how sad you are feeling?
-how much you have done for them?
-how deeply(and truelly) you felt for them?
-how sincere you treat them?
Who would ever know?
All I know is that no one in this world knows me well..No one..Except my own brother..What a sad life I am living..Haiz..
I'm feeling so emo..maybe is because...

2006-09-01T17:02:00.000+08:00

One of this day i shall take a lighter and some oil to light up my books.Wouldnt that be fun?

2006-08-29T21:22:00.000+08:00

I hate m.i Link.Really.Is so troublesome and disorganised.Really.Going to the website and copy down all the notes is really very ineffective and useless.Is there any better way to let us get the answers a better way?
Please don say that i love you without any proof that i love you.I dont.And that's final.My heart belongs to no one but myself for now.

2006-08-27T19:26:00.000+08:00

Organic Chemistry.My curse forever.My brother challenged me to a deal that if i pass the test with flying colours he will treat me to sushi and.....Haiz...It flew away.*heart Shatters*Never mind...I'll get the deal next time..Promise.I wouldnt let myself down..
--------I've let you go now...and i wun turn back..Because is insane to be forever in love with you...----------

2006-08-26T12:29:00.000+08:00

Haiz...Cant post my lyrics due to some problems but nvm...I shall write for myself to see!!!hehe..Anyway is time for update...
feeling super pissed with my dad.I mean don give me that bloody crap.I am studying.Stop saying that I am lazy ok?Damn it..I'm not a machine whom can study 24 hours none stop.I'm not.So Shut up.I am studying.Is really unfair to say that i am lazy on the pretext that I am lazy.I'm not.I did study..And when i say i am,means I am.

2006-08-04T21:55:00.000+08:00

Riding a bike is such a fun feeling.Serious.I'm not joking.Yeap I was super scared at first and fancy getting stuck just because I cant wear a helmet due to my gigantic head and was shivering with fear.But hey!I got to admit...The feeling is sooooooo good man!!Is like freedom.With the wind blowing at you when you are riding...The feeling is what everyone calls shiok...Yeah..
Yet,this is what i call stupid you see.Riding a bike may be fun but hey......No matter how small you are you'll feel that is dangerous to be on the roads on a bike.Singaporeans are not that patient towards their fellow Singaporeans on the roads.They will honk you if you are slow.Why this reaction?Why cant they wait?What's the point of rushing on the roads when there's the traffic lights?
Perhaps,things will be nicer if they bother to wait.That's the problem with Singaporeans nowadays.They simply cant just sit down patiently and wait for the fruits to ripe.They want it instant.They wouldnt get to appreciate the beauty of nature and will just slog their hearts out.Is that worth it?If you think it is then i'm going to have a good laugh..A real good laugh..
To someone who piss me off.
Hello my dear *********...I am really so bloody pissed off with you today.Who do you think you are?So what if you are big shot?I'm slow ok?I need to ask and reask just for the sake of double reconfirming..If you cant take my asking then just shut up and keep your mouth shut.Fancy rollin your eyes at me.Hey dont use that you are tired as an excuse mind you..I'm tired also...I'm hurt by your actions really.I cant say anything except to act blur...damn it...

2006-07-30T22:27:00.000+08:00

A big sorry to anyone whom I've offende forthis few days.I know I don have a gpood temper.I know mself.I know.I know i'm a very paranoid girl.I know I am.But this only applies to me when I'm feeling very sad or kan jiong isnt uit?Everyday I wear a smile on my face..Everyday..But does anyone ever realise how confused I feel everyday?Doesnt anyone realise?I always feel insecure in whatever I do.Be it love,studies etc..Nth ever makes me feel secure.I love my friends..I love them...but hey...Is my insecurity really bothers me...I really want to change this but I really need help.Who can be my angel to help me in this time?

2006-07-25T22:00:00.000+08:00

One word to summarize it all for this programme.TIRED.Yes I am tired.After all this planning and so on...Yeah..I'm tired.Well but I'm happy with the results.We filled half a lt.(which is better than the RJC's response according to the Journalists.)Wahaha....Well...Should i say 3 cheers to m.i???YEAH!!

I dono what am i thinking...My heart is pinning for you everyday.I want to let you go..I'm serious.Is your freedom.So as long as you let me like you...

2006-07-24T21:53:00.000+08:00

PRETTY BOY.(Written by Bottolf Lødemel/Nora Skaug)
I lie awake at night
See things in black and white
I only got you inside my mind
You know you have made me blind
I lie awake and pray
That you will look my way
I have all this longing in my heart
I knew it right from the start
CHORUS
Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you
I used to write your name
And put it in a frame
And sometimes I think I hear you call
Right from my bedroom wall
You stay a little while
And touch me with your smile
And what can I say to make you mine
To reach out for you in time
CHORUS
BRIDGE
Oh pretty boy
Say you love me too

(taken from lyrics.com)

I knew right from the start you don't like me..Yet,this doesnt stop me from falling deeper for you.I'll try to forget you as time goes by.Luckily for me...You are a nice guy.

2006-07-22T13:02:00.000+08:00

Now i know why so many people in this world hate their bosses.Now then I know.Bosses in this world is such fucking idiots and in their bloody eyes there's only them.They think they are so good in this world and try to push their blame to their subordinates and are like dogs to people who acquire a higher position than them.This happens in every single place isn't it?When all things doesn't seem to go smoothly they decide to find ways and means to get themselves out of the situation and blame everywhere,everyone in this world.I'm sorry if i hit bingo.But for such a naive and ignorant person like me finally realise the truth and decide to be a more clear headed person from now on.
Entering the student council in my school is such a wrong choice.I entered with an enthusiatic heart to serve the school and to prove myself that I can do it.Yes I entered with this heart.Full of passion.Yet,I didn't know that office politics will actually apply in this small organisation.Maybe...I choose to be ignorant to it.I knew right from the start that it would happen.I choose to close one eye to it.I was stupid.And now I've gotten myself into this whole piece of shit.The programme that I was put in charge is now in a mess.Did I wanted it in the first place?No.I never.I never wanted to do things and give up halfway.Never.But now...things seem to be putting me in a very tight spot.But what can I do?Is part of my fault too.I ought to slap myself in the face.Yes.Myself.I shouldn't have got myself into this mess.Working under such a fussy and fuck up boss is such a chore.He told me is entirely my fault that is now in the last minute.Yeah Yeah..My fault.My fault.He is that fucking bastard who pass information entirely to my subordinate without telling me.My fault.Yes.My fault.
I do know that I don have the makings to become a leader.I do know.I'm going to submit my batch soon after this programme.I have enough of this.Enough.This is my last programme.I no longer give a fuck to all this.

2006-07-14T20:31:00.000+08:00

I HATE THIS WORLD.Why do we need to have so much problems in this world?Money,friends,studies,relationship...Why are there so much problems?Some people said that troubles are meant to make people grow.To make people gain experience to become more mature...and so??What do we get in return?Happiness?God create this world for what?To make us unhappy i guess..(with apologise to everyone who believe in god)
I never believe in god since young and up til now i dont even know whether i still believe in god or not.Not say that i dont turn to god when i'm feeling tired with my life;but is just that he doesnt seems to hear me everytime i call him.When i'm distress,I called out to him for help...And alas....He seems to be dear towards my plea.Why??All he ever gave me was a sunny character..To make me recover from my sadness in the fastest time possible.Never did he help me to get out from that piece of shit...Haiz....are you fair towards me??Haiz..
GOT back my physics paper today and guess what shit results i got?*.Yes i failed.I'm not blaming anyone for my plight.I did try.At least i didn't let myself down...Given the situation i was in...I should be glad that i still get such marks....Yet...I still cant help but to cry.Given my capabilities,I should have scored better.Dad didnt scold me for getting such results.He just told me to continue working hard...Haiz..I shouldnt have gotten myself so sick that time.Wasted my whole one month and suffer during June holidays.Haiz..Dad i promise you...I promise you...I'm gonna pass my results for sure..for sure...

2006-07-10T13:16:00.001+08:00

ONE MORE DAY.Just one more day and I'll be having a break!YES!!!!Long awaited break.And a big f*** to the papers and myself.Studied so hard for the papers but end up the papers are super tough.Haiz..I shouldnt have gotten myself sick during the holidays..I could have made use of the holidays to choing some more but.......Ok...what's over is over.Nothing can change this anymore.All i can do is to pray to gods and deities.
HURRAY!!!Italy 2006!!!!!!YES!!!!!Set my alarm clock at 2 but end up woke up at 4 as I couldnt wake up haa but never mind...I still manage to catch a glimspe of it...HEHE...Well..I've being supporting Italy(due to the influence of my brother) since 1998 and I was so into this Italy football player Robberto Baggio.HE'S such an excellent player.Takes penalties as if is like nobody's business.Yeap yeap.Sensation.Ha..Well I know i sound like a what now but i do support Italy,Brazil and Portugal.But who cares..Italy won right??Hehehe...3 CHEERS TO ITALY!!!!!

2006-06-16T16:51:00.000+08:00

Bad mood bad day.Fuck.Everyday everytime every second I Will hear my dad screaming at me or nagging me whatever the fuck you call that asking me to go and study.This is really driving me nuts.I mean come on la wun he just let me have a few moments of peace instead of just yakking away at me for nothing?What does he treat me as?A superhuman?Come on la I did study ok??JUST LET ME HAVE THE PEACE I DESIRED!!!!!Damn.Father's day is coming and i'm hear blogging negative remarks about him.Cool.Fillial huh?Basket.
AND WHO THE MUTHAFARKER IS THAT who sent me the virus?God damn I already have one freaking virus in my computer and now what i've incidentally sent one virus to my friend.Shit.But I don mean it and i've already apologised.What more can I do?I know nuts about computer.Cant help.

2006-06-15T13:59:00.000+08:00

I feel like kicking myself in the butt.Self proclaimed determined person my sh**.I am not that determined as many thought i was.What?Getting some decent degree and step into the university for the sake of a decent job?9-5?HAHA.Funny.Doing that with a person of my capability?*(#&(*&.You must be joking.Let me just put it this way.I'll do whatever I can and not what you think I CAN just because you see yourself,your hopes in me.No way.I'm not your puppet.I'm just a pathetic human trying to get my foothold steady in this competitive society.I want to quit what I am doing right now but can I?Stuck in this shell of mine trying to break free..Brrrrrrrrrr....But i would not let myself down.NEVER.Fat hope you AR**..Lazy demon.Get LOST!

2006-06-09T20:05:00.000+08:00

What happen to you blogger??
Ok..Just wanted to post a blog entry about my fighting with my illness and end up i couldnt post it.Fated.Great.And in my attempt to post it my computer hung several times.Great job blogger.Great job.+_+
Anyway...The long awaited WORLD CUP 2006 IS HERE!!!*jumping hysterically*...Yeah yeah!!!Haa..I really want Brazil to win and if Italy wins it will be fine with me.I've being a fan of Italy for a very long time and is just that it always made me feel so disappointed.*praying*..Well well..I got a shock when my mom told me that she is going to watch the opening match today of Germany versus Costa Rica.I was like huh?Mom watch match?Yeah yeah...After a round of asking...She thought it was like 11 plus start match but haa...So sorry for her.Anyway i gtg...feeling so terribly hot.

2006-05-10T22:33:00.000+08:00

YES I AM TIRED.YES I AM.

I'm not a superhuman nor superman.I'm really tired..I've to settle my fls stuff and also to do my own stuffs and to handle some of my dad's stuff.Hello????Why cant my dad understand?I wouldn't mind working and working all day long but this is impossible even for the world's fastest machine.I'm NOT a machine.I'm a HUMAN.Please understand.
Saw karkoon today.Oh my god!!!He was still the same old karkoon that i noe...haa...Forever so nice and sweet to people.Tee heh...Haha...And know what???He has this special memory card that will allow him to take 9999 pictures.9999.Yes.Amazed?I am...haa...Had a nice time with them playing badminton today...Hmm...Should i join badminton??????????Should i????hmm...I'm tired...Shall sleep my head off...heee

2006-05-08T21:18:00.000+08:00

H0W ThiNgs ChaNge

Wow..Saw my friends from the Primary school today.Guess what?...I have no idea who they were when i first saw them.Yes.ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.Please dont blame me..It has being quite a few years since i last saw them and moreover;i did not put on my spects.
It suddenly occured to me that how human beings like us change so fast within such a short period of time.The memories of them were that they were still like school girls with long ponytails.My mind!How they change!They were like so mature and i feel like a kid beside them.The topics they talked..Forget it i'm not going to mention anything about it.
MORAL OF THE STORY ?Time can really change your surroundings.Your life,friends etc..Time would never wait for you.Might as well treasure the things you have now.What's the point of having such thought about how things change?Why not just live your TODAY to the fullest?Dont always think that there's tomorrow.That's procrastinating.Make everyday your best day.Let it be part of the splendid memories that you have and never regret what you do.There's no point in regreting.

2006-05-07T22:23:00.000+08:00

Shit results

I'm so disappointed with myself and my results.From a decent grade to like *Censored*.Haiz...I shall set a few goals to movtivate myself.

My Aims

1st:Get at least a C grade in all my A level subjects and of course pass my AO subjects.[May god bless me]
2nd:Study study study and study.

Is it very difficult to get?Maybe..But i don't care.Is my aim..Whether i get it or not is my business..RIGHT?haa...I'm such an ass...Well I shall start from today.Hope I can get it!!May god bless me!!

2006-05-05T22:28:00.000+08:00

When a stranger calls.....
Went to watch this movie When a stranger calls with yijie. My god..I really regret watching this movie.For the first 40 minutes,I was yawning and groaning.....caz it was SUPER boring.I mean come on la...What the heck is the movie about?For that 1st 40 minutes,all i saw was the lead girl Camila (Jill Johnson) in this gorgeous house made of wood fidgeting about.She was supposed to be doing baby sitting for the owner of the house and yet she's not doing anything.And there was this psycho kept calling her and he refused to ans.This scene kept repeating itself and i really felt like leaving the cinema.But alas,I still continued to watch this movie.
The only thing i can say about this movie is....This movie is simply a WASTE of money.Yes this is.Really.The opening and the ending is super lame.The only attraction that i can think of is is that pretty female lead and the part where she meets the bad guy.That's all.Still want to watch?Please do think twice before spending your money.